So This Is What It Feels Like to Win...

I just won my very first race, and man am I stoked (and tired)!  Before you think I'm a really good runner, I should explain that this was a relatively small race; not anything major, except for the fact that it's my first win.  It was sort of a strange experience, to tell you the truth.  After a night out bon dancing, I got less than 6 hours of sleep and was rudely awakened by my alarm.  I nearly hit snooze; if I had, I probably wouldn't have even made it to the race on time.

I was like a walking zombie before the race; definitely not a happy camper and not in the mood to run.  I started out pretty slowly, but as the sun started to rise so did my spirits and competitiveness.  I slowly worked my way up toward the front and before I knew it, I was the fourth female.  I reeled in the last two, but then I started feeling pretty tired.  Luckily it was past the halfway point already, and people running in the opposite direction kept telling me I was the second female.  I couldn't even see the leader at that point, but with 3-4 miles to go, I saw her just ahead.  I thought about what it would feel like to actually win a race and figured if I could see it in my head, my legs could take me there.  I closed in until we were running side by side.

It's a bit awkward when you're in the process of passing someone and it's taking a while.  I turned and looked over at her, and we smiled at each other.  I really just wanted to offer an encouraging smile, but when I did I wondered whether she thought I was just pretending to be nice (because some women are that way).  After several seconds, I decided I'd just try to run ahead and hold as much of a lead as I could.  It paid off, and despite my fatigue I was able to hold on to a pretty good lead.  I got to talk to her briefly after the race, and she was really nice.  She did say she felt pretty demoralized after I passed her, which made me feel really bad, but I think she's a competitor who knows that's just part of racing.

At the finish, it was quite an experience to be cheered on and applauded by others, most of whom didn't even know me.  Christian ran pretty much the whole race and served as my personal photographer.  Kevin took 6th place but ran back to help me make the last 800m.  Mario was at the finish with a big high five, and guys I had seen on the course came over to congratulate me.  I felt a little ashamed, as if I didn't quite deserve my win.  I had been thinking this would be just a long training run, after all.  But I guess all these months of training are beginning to pay off.

So winning feels pretty glorious, and I can see how people can get sucked into going to great lengths to keep winning or think that they are entitled to certain things because of their talent or success.  I don't want to be like that.  So instead of basking in glory, I've thought instead about why I won.  I won because my God gave me the strength, ability, and will to run.  Yes, I've worked hard to run more, but I also get a huge amount of support from family and friends.  I'm pretty spoiled at home, so thanks to my Mom, most times I don't have to cook for myself; just eat.  I don't like drama and dealing with putting on appearances, so I'm grateful that I have people in my life who won't think that I'm arrogant, undeserving, or what have you when I talk about my successes.  They are genuinely happy and excited for me when I succeed, just as I am for them when they succeed.  It feels good to be able to share life with them, especially since I owe a lot of any of my successes to them.  So to all of you, thank you so much for your encouragement and love.  This one's for you!