Gunstock Trails Half Marathon Recap

Boy did I get humbled during this run.

I fully intended to race this one and even left the ankle brace off so it wouldn't hinder me.  The rains held off, and it was a beautiful chilly morning.  However, the race got off to a rough start.  Somehow I think I ended up doing the 5K loop twice before heading out on the rest of the half marathon trail.  Several others did the same, perhaps adding even more miles onto their run.  I was so frustrated at the thought of running around in circles that I thought to myself, "Oh well, so much for racing this one.  I needed a long run anyway"  (There were many other thoughts that ran through my head during this time, but I'll censor those :P).

We finally made our way back on course.  My legs were itching to make up some time, so I took off.  Somehow Johnny came up from behind me, so I stuck with him for a while.  Following his lead, I walked up the steeper hills and ran the rest.  The course wasn't nearly as tough as the XTERRA, which I was grateful for because I really wanted to RUN.

I still had no idea where I was in relation to others due to the confusion at the beginning of the race.  I just charged on, trying to look up every so often to soak in the gorgeous views.  Somewhere near mile 6 or so, one of the volunteers yelled out to me that I was the first female.  I found that hard to believe, as I had gotten lost.  Then again, maybe everyone else had done the same?  Whatever.  I kept going.  But the thought of winning a stay at Turtle Bay made me smile.  With Alicia's wedding in Pupukea, the Turtle Bay stay would work out perfectly!

I felt some tiredness set in as I neared the turnaround.  I even saw a girl coming out of an offshoot path, heading back the way we came.  I wondered where she came from, because I didn't think that was the trail we were running.  The weirdness of the race continued...

I hit the turnaround, and it was confirmed that I was in fact the first female.  That gave me a boost, but it was short-lived.  I slowed down a lot, and I hit that point in the race where my mind began warring against me.  I kept thinking how I should have been a mile or two ahead by now, how I would've felt great if I hadn't wasted all that energy early on, blah, blah, blah.

I was so consumed in my monku monku that I didn't even notice that a girl was running behind me!  I turned a corner, peeked behind, and there she was.  At that point, I knew I was done for.  My legs were feeling too weak to push through those last couple miles, so I gave a short surge then let her pass me without a word.  I was so disappointed that I had come so far and had actually held a lead for a while, only to lose it with two miles to go.  My body must've sensed my disappointment, because I slowed considerably. 

The girl passed me and kept right on going with no signs of slowing down.  There was a guy in front me as well, but I couldn't hang on to either of them.  But then I asked myself, "Why am I racing?"  I had made up my mind long before the race that I would not compete solely to win.  My abilities and passions come from God, and I am absolutely sure His will is not for me to win for my selfish gain.  All of my negative thoughts and sulking were definitely not what I wanted out of this race, win or lose.  So I made up my mind to suck it up and finish strong.  On the way down, I caught another glimpse of the coastline beauty, and I felt good again.

I could hear the crowd yelling, and my legs had come back to life.  As I was nearing the finish, Kevin was standing at the corner, cheering.  He yelled, "You're the first female!"  Strange.  How could he have missed that girl?  I yelled back, "No I'm not!  There's a girl in front of me!"  He said, "She's running unattached."  Wait... seriously?

What a fool I had been.  I let the circumstances control my thoughts, my emotions, and my attitude.  I just looked at the race results, and the second female was only a minute behind me.  If I had slowed even more, she probably would've caught me.  Now THAT would've taught me a lesson!

After the race, I wondered why the girl didn't tell me she was running unattached as she passed me.  But then I realized that it shouldn't have mattered.  In fact, I learned much more having thought that I led the race, only to lose it at mile 11.  Yes, I am very happy with the win.  I ran hard, and I felt great given the circumstances.  BUT... next time I want to make my Maker proud throughout the entire race, regardless of my place.  Running isn't a great spectator sport.  Most of the battles go on internally.  Spectators can presume to know what is going through a runner's head, but they can't possibly know for sure.  Each race is a deeply personal battle.  For me, it's the perfect testing ground -- I can gauge where I'm at spiritually, mentally, and physically.  

Morale of the story:  It seems as though you can't do better than first place, but you can.  While the prizes were awesome and I am truly grateful for them, there's a lot of room for improvement.